Joy, 14 years old, is part of a fostering family and says she really enjoys fostering because it’s so rewarding. It really makes her happy that her family are able to offer a safe and loving home to those children who need it.
October is Children of Foster Carers Month, which recognises and celebrates the invaluable role that children of foster carers play within their fostering family.
Ultimately, it’s not just parents that foster, their own children do too. They have to share their home, family, and sometimes belongings. At times, they have to cope with difficult and challenging behaviour. However, they welcome children into their homes, ensuring that they feel safe, and feel part of a loving, family environment.
Many people state that whilst they are really interested in fostering, they are too worried about the impact it will have on their own children and is the main reason why so many choose not to become foster carers.
However, Foster Wales Swansea, the council’s fostering service, currently have 126 fostering families, 47% of which have their own children still living at home. Whilst they admit to experiencing some challenges, they are very proud to foster and would recommend it to other families.
do you enjoy fostering?
Joy: “I really enjoy fostering, it’s so rewarding. It’s all so worth it when you see the smiles on the children’s faces, when you make them laugh, do things together as a family that they haven’t done before, and simply share your home with them. It makes me feel so happy!”
When a child goes to live with foster families for the first time, it’s naturally daunting for them, but it can also be nerve racking for the children of foster carers. But that feeling didn’t last long for Joy.
what was it like when the first child came to live with you?
Joy: “When our first child came to stay with us, it felt a little bit strange at first, but it was so wonderful to be able to give him a loving home. All I wanted was to make him feel safe and comforted.”
There are many ways in which fostering has benefitted foster carers’ own children. It can help them to grow and develop, and learn the importance of being empathetic, caring, and understanding. They are able to build strong relationships, learn new skills, and learn to celebrate diversity. They simply appreciate what they have.
what have you learnt from fostering?
Joy: “I’ve learnt so much from fostering already. When I was younger, I used to think that every child had a ‘mummy’ and a ‘daddy’ that is always there to care and nurture them. However, when I grew up, I unfortunately realised that’s not always the case. Since becoming a fostering family, I have learnt that every family is different and that’s okay as there are lots of people out there who are willing to nurture them in the way they need and deserve.”
Children of foster carers cherish all the memories they hold of the foster children, as well as relish in the joy that they are helping to make positive differences in their lives.
what’s been your favourite memory of fostering so far?
Joy: “My best memory of fostering so far has been knowing that I am making a massive difference in their lives. Other favourite memories are reading to the foster child at nighttime; singing their favourite songs together in the car; helping with homework; dancing with them; and playing games.”
would you recommend fostering to other families?
Joy: “I would 100% recommend fostering to other families. It makes you, as a person, feel so happy to be able to be a part of their life and make it better. It makes me realise how many children don’t get the love and care they deserve, so to be able to give them that love is a very special feeling.”
support
Foster Wales Swansea offers a support group for foster carers’ own children, as well as many activities and events, giving them the opportunity to meet other children of foster carers who can share and understand their experiences. They very much have a voice and are involved in the assessment process. The social workers allocated to the foster carers is also there to provide support and advice for their own children too. In addition, we have support workers within the team who can support them in any way they need.
interested?
If you’re thinking about fostering but are naturally worried how it will affect your own children, then chat to a member of the Foster Wales Swansea Team. Contact us today for an informal discussion.
We can explain the process, how your children are involved, and how we support them once you become approved foster carers. We can also arrange for you to speak to one of our foster carers about the realities of fostering when you have your own children living at home.
If you’d like to learn more about the effects of fostering on your own children, including what support is available, please read our blog.
You can also find out the answers to commonly asked questions here.
